It is my unprofessional opinion that the reason we have such high rates of poor mental health (depression, anxiety especially), is mainly due to the patriarchy. Yeah, I know I sound like a bra burning conspiracy theorist to some, but even some straight white cis men can admit that shit ain’t right in modern day society. Our system doesn’t even work for baboons for crying out loud. Even they don’t want shitty alpha males swinging their dicks in everyone’s faces. So don’t tell me that our current system is fucking “natural.” I know it’s a lie the same way I know that “war is in our nature” is a lie. If war was in our nature, so many soldiers would not be coming home with PTSD. If the patriarchy was based on some inherent natural law, depression, anxiety et al would not be fucking epidemic.
It’s in YOUR nature. WE don’t have to swallow your SHIT anymore. You can spread all the lies you like so that people keep buying your bullshit, but I for one am DONE.
Why I need Bi Visibility Day.
[Image: Grunge background with bisexual pride colors. Text: “I HAVE 99 PROBLEMS and bullshit cis patriarchal monosexism and bi erasure is MOST OF THEM.”]
There are no queer teen suicides, only queer teen murders.
September 23rd is Bisexual Visibility Day. Never forget the bi, pan and poly queer teenagers who have fallen victims to the murderous society that sets heterosexuality as a norm. Let us remember on our special day those murdered in cold blood; murdered by their friends, murdered by their family, by the education system, by biphobic media, by people on the street harassing them when they dared not to be invisible. Let us remember that these perpetrators are walking freely on our streets, because we forgot to confront biphobia and challenge heteronormative society, that insists we must choose. Let us confront the ones denying our existence, slut-shaming us, telling us it’s just a phase, accusing us of confusion, telling us we’re really straight or gay, saying we aren’t queer enough when we’re in a “different-sex” relationship, blaming us for “reinforcing the stereotype” when we’re not good little monogamous bisexuals or blaming us for reinforcing the gender binary because we choose to identify as bisexuals (but then pansexuals are just trying to be cool).
These are the people braiding the nooses upon which bi teens hang. Enough is enough.
My Bisexual Anthem for Bi Visibility Day
By Jacqueline Applebee
We’re not straight or gay.
Not a silent B
After this great day.
We’re out and proud,
Clothed in purple hues;
Smashing fences down
With our New Rocks boots.
Going all the way.
Neither straight or gay.
Let your voices shout.
Don’t dare leave us out!
onqueerstreet asked: Hey, lovely, happy Bi Pride Day! Hope you're having a good one (I myself am giddily smiling at the bi pride colors I marked on the backs of my hands). Wanted to bring up something I LOVED in Sheri's book: about how bisexuality can be radical in that bi women can involve themselves with men on their own terms instead of through compulsory sexuality. I thought that was great because it's so true. I could, conceivably, choose to cut men out of my dating pool all together. Powerful thought yeah? :)
Same with how people naturally assume bisexuality will include men at all. Someone could define their bisexuality as attraction to women and genderqueer people, completely excluding men. It’s a complex orientation like all the others, but people insist on simplifying it because we don’t fit their monosexist ideas. For shame.
Also including this from another post because it’s so relevant:
I know :D It’s actually quite a shitty misogynistic philosophy to believe that bi women will natually choose men over women, I mean what have they done for us lately? Why do people think they are “the natural” and “better” choice?
Men better shape the fuck up if they want some from bisexuals tbh.
In all seriousness though, the book is really good, I still havn’t finished it because I have the worst ever work schedule but it’s been a real eye-opener. The bottom line is our sexuality is our own and non-bisexual fuckers can fuck off trying to define and analyse it for us.
toiletdemon said: what really pisses me off is how much that attitude of “you’re only damaged goods if you sleep with MEN” plays directly into the patriarchy that lesbians supposedly challenge by their very existence
A lot of really shitty queer theory and feminism ironically delves into the same misogyny when it comes to bi women, it can even fall into rape apologism.
You guys remember that quote posted by sexandsocialism claiming that lesbianism is more radical than bisexuality in women because men can *ahem* insert themselves into a bisexual fantasy, whereas lesbianism excludes all male involvement. Lol what? Are you literally saying bi women cannot be radical because men fetishise them? Wow, victim blaming rape culture is a hell of a drug. And it really doesn’t fit with their lesbian feminist politics as a whole, so it really sticks out as being fucked up.
If your definition of radical is shitting on victimised women to make your own group look better, I don’t want any part of it.
Radical queer politics where we are empowered to define our lives on our own terms apart from cisheteropatriarchal values I have time for.
Yeah that whole shit about who’s a more radical queer is bull. Bisexual and pansexual people aren’t more radical because their attraction incorporates multiple genders but because of how they interpret their sexuality and how they interact with our heterosexist society through it. The same goes for lesbians. You aren’t inherently radical because of your orientation; it’s how you approach society alongside of your orientation (does that make sense?).
I love this discussion :D Thanks for mentioning me <3
Yessss. Best exchange on the topic of queer politics I’ve read lately.
Anonymous asked: Do you think it's valid for someone to say 'You can't be quiet if you're a feminist.'? I go to an all girls school, and one of my (self identified feminist) teachers said she 'worries' for the future of women if we are too shy or reluctant to put our hand up in her class. I know so many naturally shy people, and as one of them, I feel kind of weird being told that we're not doing feminism right. (Especially with things like social anxiety etc) Or are people who say things like this in the right?
Frankly, I don’t see what one has to do with the other. I get so discourage by all these shitty teachers that so many readers write in about. Their job is to encourage and help you grow, see opportunities, not make you feel less or incapable.
I have horrible anxiety and I’m quite shy in person, and when I was in school I would hate raising my hand, I would have it raised for a while and not be called and start worrying if people thought I was annoying for having is raised for so long i would worry if my teacher had not seen my hand, or if she had seen it and wasn’t calling me on purpose. I would worry if I should put it down and then put it up again later. But when? What if I didn’t get another chance?
So yeah, all those things and more would race through my head, just over the really inconsequential notion of hand raising in class.
Does that affect my feminism? My activism? My ability to speak out now? No, no, and no.
They have nothing to do with each other. Anxiety is a real and serious thing, and affects different people in different ways, to varying degrees, in all sorts of scenarios. Being shy in a classroom setting does not mean you don’t know your issues or how to speak to them either.
In general, I am very vocal feminist. There are time when I don’t feel comfortable or safe, and in those times, I don’t speak out. But eight or nine times out of ten, I do. And really, there are a lot of ways to make a difference. Shy people can do just as much damage as naturally loud/out-spoken folks. ;-)
Anonymous asked: (Bisexual woman here) Whenever I'm dating a man I feel guilty about getting involved in the queer community and I don't speak about issues that affect me. Do I have more privilege when I'm dating a man? If so, should I refrain from talking about issues and let others speak instead?
No, and no. You don’t stop being bisexual just because some ignorant people think your sexuality is determined by who you are with. LGBT is L G B T, not LG(shhh, b, you’re not allowed to speak, and t, you neither). Or at least it shouldn’t be.
We’re here, we’re Queer, we always have been.